StrongBad's journal
by SbjK5
Summary: StrongBad writes what he thinks of all his friends in a journal( he didn't want to call it a diary) rated PG because some content is totally questionable man. This is a parody of Sb e-mails which is from homestarrunner.com. which owns all the characters.
1. Dumbface StrongSad

Disclaimer: I do not own homestarrunner.com or any of it's characters. I also do not own any official products you may or may not see in this fanfiction. Thank you and enjoy.  
  
Hey, this is StrongBad.  
  
Yeah, I know what your thinkin', what the crap am I doing writing a journal, and how did I have time to do it? Well I could explain it to you in a long drawn-out explination, but I think I'll keep it short.  
  
StrongSad came up to me and said I should write down what I think of everybody. Well I couldn't figure out why I should, but then I just went for it.  
  
So, seeing as he suggested this whole thing, I'll start with him. ______________________________________________________________________  
  
StrongSad:  
  
Now don't get me wrong, but I think in isolated Norwegian cultures, Strongsad means "Elephant-like dumbface. Or in isolated Latin cultures: "Elphantias dumbfacias resemblas".  
  
I suppose before I tell you about him, I'll mention his pesonality.  
  
This guy is boring! I mean no one likes him(well mabye that Homsar guy but, no one likes him either so they kind of cancel each other out.) He weighs at least 300 pounds, he's several different shades of gray, and he's about as good a conversationalist as Coach Z on a Listerene binge. I mean it's like talking to a monotone mel for Pete's sake. I mean if you have a wicked case of insomnia, I'd understand you hanging out with him, but otherwise, you'd have to have an IQ of 8 to survive(hence Homsar befriending him).  
  
I remember about a month ago, Bubs bet me 10 dollars that I couldn't be nice to everybody, for a day. Naturally I took him up on that challenge.  
  
Soon ol' dumbface walked by. I(being the temporary nice guy that I was) said hello. So then StrongSad started up a conversation. One word: Boring. I mean the guy sat there for hours talking and talking nonstop about random things that don't matter!  
  
So I decided to ask the hardest question I know, and duck out of sight while he thinks about it. So I asked: "Why do hotdogs come in packs of seven, whilst hotdog buns come in packs of eight?"  
  
He spent hours upon hours explaining why, I didn't listen though, I spent most of the explination fantasizing about what it would be like to have a mansion, more on that later, but after the long explination, I found myself apoligizing for swiss crackers not having cheese in them. I don't know how that happened, but I soon found myself punching him in the face. Needless to say I lost ten dollars that day. Luckily I found ten dollars in StrongSad's mattress while I was searching for his diary. So it all worked out in the end.  
  
Moral of the story: don't talk to "Elephantias dumfacias resemblas", unless you have serious insomnia and/or symptoms of stupidas (a disease that makes you- well it's really a state-of-being, stupid.).  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
Now onto his looks. Basically, he looks like an elephant, and some character off of this anime I watched. Thus creating, 20x6! More on that later also. Anyway, his head looks sorta like a marshmellow mabye... I mean if you punch him continuously, nothing happens. If you punch him in the stomach, he says "Douglas!"  
  
Oh, and every Decemberween we lock him in the bathtub. Now how this is possible resulted in many an e-mail. How we do it is, there's a door to our bathtub. How the crap is do you have a door to your bath tub you might ask?  
  
Well here's how: StrongMad was playing with The Cheat one day and he fell against the wall of our house. This particular wall happened to be the bathroom wall, and StrongSad happened to be taking a shower, oh, man, you guys just had to be there! StrongSad's all like "Ah! Where am I?" and StrongMad's all like "Where is the cheat?" The Cheat as it turned out was in his house, Kot's grill. Anyway, we put a lock on the wall so everytime you thump it, it falls over onto the bathtub. Yeah, I know this may seem harsh, to any elephant marshmellow people out there, but, the last few years, we haven'nt been turning the water on while he's in there, recessitating him is like, one of the most excruciating of The Cheat's life.  
  
Anyway, he also has these slitty eyes, how he sees through them is like how a chineses guy would I guess.... those eyes also look like this guy off this anime I saw, I can't remember....  
  
Well that's pretty much dumbface in a nutshell, other than the fact that he has a Beanie Baby friend, Goobles. He hid that pretty well from me, but I found it eventually. Did you know his floorboards, are as thick as- oops, I mean- ert-as-and-erd-gottagobye! 


	2. StrongMad: The Interview

Hey, its me again. StrongBad!  
  
Yeah, today I thought I'd write about a certain someone. StrongMad!  
  
Yes, my big brother StrongMad is the oldest of the brothers strong. So I'd thought I'd honor the big lug, by writing what I think of him.  
  
So, here's what I think of StrongMad.  
  
________________________________________________________________  
  
StongMad:  
  
Ah, yes, my brother Strong Mad, what a guy!  
  
As usual I'll start with his personality and then describe him.  
  
Well, there isn't too much to say here. Basically, he's a straight thinker, who focuses on the big picture. He's pretty much the opposite of StrongSad, and has many different views. And in a recent interview with: The Cheat, StrongSad, and just about everybody else, I asked, what they thought of StrongMad.  
  
Here are their views:  
  
SB) So The Cheat, what in your honest opinion tell, tell the viewers what you think of StrongMad.  
  
TC) Rah, rahrahreh,rehrah rah renera, rah renerh rah reh, rah rah.  
  
Translation: Ah, my good buddy StrongMad, a simple fellow, with good moral values when you get right down to it. He's a down to earth, kinda guy who follows two simple philosophys: "Punch first ask questions never.", and "If it makes you mad, punch it." He's definently the bell of the ball, at our house. Keep it up buddy!  
  
SB) And Bubs what do you think?  
  
B) Well, he eats at my concession stand alot, and he helps me beat down my clients when they don't pay-  
  
SB) Well, that's fascinating, but what "else" do you think.  
  
B) Oh. Well he's definently a character, I'll give him that much. He's a great guy, too. Once, when my Gremlin, custom Gremlin by the way, with a V- 10 engine, and 4x4 design-  
  
SB)(Ahem!)  
  
B) Oh. Right, um, yeah great guy.  
  
SB) Alrighty then, now onto Pom-Pom! Pom, what can you tell us, about StrongMad.?  
  
PP) Bubblebubble doublebubble, bubbledybubble bubble bubble bubblebub ble? Bubble bub bub bubble-  
  
Translation: Yeah, he's a great guy in all, but do you have to ask me while I'm on my cell? Go away, you red headed-comment deleted-  
  
SB) Yes, well thank you Pom-Pom... Well now, onto Marzipan...  
  
MP) Yes, well, StrongMad is great at being mad. Although he ran, tripped, and smashed my turnips the other day, I guess I can forgive him. But I can't forgive him for being a meat eating meat! What gives you the right to eat mother nature's creations?  
  
SB) Crap! How do you turn this thing off?!  
  
MP) And another thing-lost transmission-  
  
SB) Yep, found it. Now, let's ask Coach Z. Coach, what do you think of SM?  
  
CZ) Well, he had the spearit of a athlete on the field der'. And before he left school, he was the star defender der' on the field. I guess you could say, he's great at that der'. Anywho, back in high school der' he wasn't the way is now. I recall, a little wrestler der' on the smallish side being bullied by the upperclassmen der'. And the next day, his grothspurt der' made him the tallest bulkiest, angryest, kid at school der' that was the beginning of, his wonderful sport carreer.  
  
SB) Yeah, we went into wrestling together shortly thereafter, I remember that. Well anyway, anyway let's ask the poopsmith his views... and why he doesn't take bath's. Smith, what are your thoughts?  
  
PS) (holds up sign) Um, I'm gonna go now.  
  
SB) Well, thank you for your interesting views. Yeah, "interesting". Well now moving on, what do you think Kin of Town?  
  
KOT) Well, StrongMad reminds me of this huge steak I had today, with cocoa butter, and musturd.  
  
SB) You mean the cocoa butter that was right next to me the other day?  
  
KOT) Um, mabye...  
  
SB) Ladies and gentleman we'll be right back.  
  
(Breif intermission)  
  
SB) Welcome back! I've just interviewed the king of town, who after recieving many punchesintheface, fell asleep. That'll teach him to eat my cocoa butter. Well, moving right along, Dumbface what are your thoughts  
  
DF) My, name is StrongSad!  
  
SB) Whatever dumbface, now answer the freakin' question!  
  
DF) Well, StrongMad is too me a troubled soul filled with mixed emotions for different things, blah blah blah, blah blah.....  
  
(Later)  
  
DF)...and in conclusion, that is my thoughts about StrongMad.  
  
SB) zzzzzzzzzzz*wha-?* Oh, your done, well thank you dumbface, now moving on to, let's see here, Homsar.  
  
HSar) Wat, iyys iyyt Stroong Bayud?  
  
SB) Um... moving right along, we have uh, (let's see, skip him, and) Hey Steve what are your thoughts?  
  
HST) Hey Steve!  
  
SB) Excellent point. And Tire what about you?  
  
T)............................  
  
SB) Yes, I agree wholeheartedly, next up, sign, what are you thoughts?  
  
S) ...........................  
  
SB) Ah ha ha ha! Oh man, that is so true, ha ha! Ohh... Now we have ghost of my old computer-  
  
HSR) Hey, what about mee?  
  
SB) What about you Homestar?  
  
HSR) Well aren't you going to ask me? I brought these little notes so I wouldn't get lost in mid-sentence, and-  
  
SB) Alright, alright! Ladies and gentlemen Homestar... (grumble)  
  
HSR) Yes, thank you Strong Bah. Now, about StrongMad. I think he-  
  
SB) Well what do you know, we're out of time! Well until next time folks goodbye!  
  
End  
  
Well I guess that explains my brother StrongMad in a rather large nutshell. Now how hw looks...  
  
Well he's like eight foot something, he's huge, has no neck/head(Basically he's a face, with wrestling tights, and redboots. He's also really muscular. Huge legs, huge arms. And always angry in a profound sorta way. And he looks vaguely human, just like me, StrongSad however, well you already know.  
  
Well until next time.... Adios! 


	3. Homestar the pantless idiot

Hello again everybody. Last time I showed you my and everybody else's opinons on StrongMad.  
  
Although I have just now realized you, more than likely have absoloutly no idea who I interviewed.  
  
I will address to you today, my thoughts on Homestar.  
  
____________________________________________________  
  
Homestar Runner.  
  
Oh man, the very sound of that name makes me want to- um..... makes me want to- um......... I don't know, but when I find out I shall......... give him, 10,000 punchesintheface. He'll probably mistake it for some contest or something and The Cheat'll like, knock on his door, and run off, and I'll be like in the bushes, and he'll like open the door, and I'll punch him! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Or, mabye I'll just sit here writing, and eating potato chips.  
  
Anyway, his personality, is equivilent to, let's see here, this fetid cheese under the couch, I mean here's a conversation we once had:  
  
HSR) Hey, Strong Bah, can I borrow your fondue pot?  
  
SB) Why the crap for?  
  
HSR) Um, Pom-Pom said I can't divulge that information.  
  
SB) Wait; you want me to give you something, when you won't even tell me why?  
  
HSR) Um, can I borrow it or not?  
  
SB) Hmmm, sure it's in Strong Sad's room.  
  
HSR) Great! I'll go get it.  
  
Yeah, that was pretty much the whole thing, well mabye this didn't prove my point, but what he did with it will:  
  
SB) Homestar? Helloooo.... where the crap is he?  
  
SB) Hey, I smell something wierd. And it's coming from that glowing room over there.  
  
So I walked into the room and, well this pretty much sums it up.  
  
HSR) Strong Bah?!  
  
PP) Bubble?! Translation: Strong Bad?!  
  
SB) What the- Your using Strong Sad's fondue pot to sacrifice marshmellow's in boiling cheese? Who even are you sacrificing to?  
  
HSR) We're sacrificing our bounty of 152 marshmellow's to The Cheeeeeeeese!  
  
SB) The who?  
  
HSR) The Cheese; he lives at the bottom of this house, and if we don't sacrifice our monthly bounty of marshmewwow's, he will curse us with repeated beatings from his right hand man, The Pulveriser!  
  
SB) The Pulveriser huh?  
  
PP) Bubble, bubble bub bubbubblebub bubble. Translation: Homestar don't waste your words on this heathen.  
  
SB) Fine, ah....I'll just be going home then.  
  
So I went home...  
  
SB) Well that was weird. Hey, The Cheat!  
  
TC) Rah rah rah? Translation: What is it Strong Bad?  
  
SB) The Cheat we must- Hey, is that marhmellow and cheese around your mouth there?  
  
TC) Rah... Translation: Um...  
  
SB) Wait-a-minute, The Cheat have you been doing what I think you've been doing?  
  
TC) Rah.... Trans- (oh for Pete's sake, Im just gonna say T: now!) T: Um....  
  
SB) The Cheat....  
  
TC) T: The Pulverizer! Help!  
  
SB) What the-  
  
TP) Rahh! I'm The Pulverizer! (Strong Mad, in a huge white tarp with eyeholes said.)  
  
SB) Wahh!  
  
Yeah, so I ran a bit and then...  
  
SB) Wait-a-minute, Strong Mad, The Cheat! Get in here!  
  
TC) T: What?  
  
SM) What?  
  
SB) It's more than a little obvious that you're doing what I think you're doing. I just feel like a little marshmellow and chees, if you know what I mean.  
  
TC) T: That can be arranged...  
  
Yeah, so from that day forward, Homestar sacrificed to The Cheese, The Pulverizer, and The Bad.  
  
Yeah, so I think that that was a good example of what Homestar's personality is like.  
  
As for what he looks like, well basically, he's no-armed, completely white, wears a red T-shirt, a star on the shirt, and no pants, this guy is a complete weirdo, and an idiot to boot.  
  
Well I don't know what else there is to say about this guy, except, he's an idiot....................................................................... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ....um, is there any particular reason your still here? If there is, I guess I could tell you a few story's about nothing in particular.  
  
Story one: We're out of time.  
  
Once apon a time, a man named Strong Bad, was typing a story, when he ran out of time,  
______The End______ 


	4. Many spelling, and grammer errors by Str...

Disclaimer: I do not own Pikachu, or any other product placement, and/or character, you see here. Pikachu belongs to Nintendo of America, so I do not own it. Enjoy!  
  
Hello again, people, who may or may not be reading this.  
  
In case your brain was malfunctioning, and/or you're stupid I'm StrongBad.  
  
Well, let's see here, who should I make fun of- I mean tell you about today?  
  
The Poopsmith? No, that would be too long, KOT? No too boring, Homsar? No, I'd rathernot gnaw my leg off in front of a live studio audience, Marzipa- no too hippieish, Bubs, no wouldn't work, Coach Z? Oh, sure, I'll bet everybody would like for me to talk about, a foreigner wth a speach impediment, for hours on end- no, I respect you guys more than that, let's see, all I no to do now is talk about cheese, or mabye anvils? Wait a minute, cheese, and anvils? That's it! The Cheat! I shall tell you about The Cheat.....  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
  
Ah, yes, The Cheat.  
  
Many people have wondered about this guy, and what he is. So now, I shall tell you of The Cheat's most darkest secret, and yes the previous statement used bad grammer, but who cares, I mean I don't, and I don't see you going out of your way to pointlessly write about things that don't matter so just read okay?  
  
Anyhoo, did I just say that? Wierd. Anyway, The Cheat is a really wierd guy, basically, he's my sidekick, whom I occasionally kick. He does menial tasks that I provide him, and he gets rewarded with privileges! Recently, he has gained access to the crisper drawer, by power sanding StrongSad's face until it was.... um.... the word escapes me, but it was really ugly man. Anyway, The Cheat's personality, is defined by his name, he cheats. That is why he helps me make Homestar's life slighty more miserable than previously.  
  
Well, regrettibly, sixteen cappucinos, and twelve expressos, can really- make-a-guy-hyper-so-if-I-am-irratic-well-tough-beans.  
  
Anyway, The Cheat cheats at just about everything. He used to smoke, but I think he went cold turkey a while ago.  
  
Okay, so so far I have explained a few things so, I think I might as well, tell you of The Cheats's origins..... whooooo!  
  
Anyway, The Cheat- well we- I mean I- ah, I'll just explain what happened that brought us to The Cheat.  
  
One day, roughly 14 years ago, me and StrongMad had just graduated. We were young then, no more than 18, when we saw a mysterious, yet obvious, U.F.O crash down, into the surrounding place.  
  
Me and StrongMad ran there as fast as concievably possible, and made it there in about a minute, or 12. So, when we got there, things were really quiet, man. I mean silent. You could almost hear our stomachs digesting, well, actually, we had 5 bean burritos before this happened, and you could hear, and smell our stomachs digesting.  
  
Anyway, when we came to the crashsite, we saw a little pod. And when we opened it The Cheat popped out. So, after this odd thing happened we played poker! (Hey, we were young,) And so we played, until the newly born The Cheat beat us 16 times. And after learning he had cheated 16 times, we named him..............The Cheat!  
  
Ha! I'll bet I got you there for a minute didn't I! Well, actually, we met The Cheat at the collage me and StrongMad went to. We saw this little, cheese-like anvil thing in an ally, and took him in.  
  
That's basically how we met The Cheat. But the burrito, and poker thing actually happened. Not kidding.  
  
So, that sums up The Cheat personality-wise, here's what he looks like.  
  
Basically, The Cheat looks like a cheese-anvil, mixed with Pikachu.  
  
He's about a foot tall, with little eyes, a pointy nose, fur all over, with three huge strands on top. He has blach spots all over his yellow fur, the spots also being fur, with little long albeit pointy arms, and a stomach that sicks way up, like he's always holding his breath. When he smiles, his stomach moves down a little to reveal his mouth. He has one gold tooth, which he has always had, and has huge folds of skin so his legs are a mystery, it's kinda like he walks by slithering his underside, wierd. Oh yeah, and he has a tiny tail in his backside.  
  
So basically, that's The Cheat. Nothing else to say about him, nope, nada.  
  
So until next time..... um, I don't know read a book or something. 


	5. Homeschool: Locked in my basement? Or, d...

Disclaimer: if any names here belong to you or anyone you know, it is purely coincidental. So don't go all crazy on me. And the same goes for cities, if these people live in those places it is extremely coincidental. Thank you and enjoy.  
  
Hello again, people who like this thing, and therefore I must write some more.  
  
Today, I'm in a sour mood. One too many cold ones, one too many helium ballons. I'm having the headache of the freakin' century man.  
  
Well, anyway, today, I shall write about..... a character who has been the result of many often poorly written emails.  
  
EX: Dear Stronbert.  
  
Me am wondoring abot a certan karactor, he nam is ________  
plz repie.  
  
Micheal Scott  
Kentucky.  
  
And let's not forget about this one....  
  
Der StrongBod,  
  
I thot I'd ask u about __________  
Hoo is e? Wherd he com from?  
Tel us!  
  
Gerdy Derg  
Pennslyvania  
  
And this one I edited because I didn't like him... You can tell if it's an edit, by the [ ] things....  
  
Dear [Exalted one],  
  
I am [an idiot who is so stupid] And I've been [crapping] about __________  
  
Where'd he come from? [Crap City U.S.A?] So although I hate [myself and others] I thought  
  
I'd ask, because this is the only way I know how. Although you probably won't, please reply.  
  
[Crap For Brains]  
[Stupidville] TX.  
  
Here's the original.........  
  
Dear Idiot,  
  
I am an avid fan of Homestarrunner (not you!!!) And I've been thinking about_________  
  
Where'd he come from? Homestar's awsomeness? So although I hate you and your emails, I  
  
thought I'd ask, because this is the only way I know how. Although you probably won't please  
  
reply.  
  
[Crap For Brains] (Sorry, couldn't resist!)  
Drafton TX.  
  
And this one I'll never forget, even if it has almost nothing to do with what we're talking about....  
  
Dear The Really awsome Strong Bad!!!,  
  
Yo, Strong Bad! Wassup!(slang) I am so fhqwhgads that I think I'm gonna pop!  
  
Doopadeedoopadeedoopadeedee... DEEE!!! I'm so crazy!!!!!  
  
By the way, bum, bum, bum! Salty Plum soda is so cooooool! Bum bum Bum! _________  
  
The unkown guy!!! So I'd really like it if you would reply!  
  
Coolman  
TX.  
  
Man that guy's awsome! He emailed me twice like this. I mean awsome! Here's my reply...  
  
Hey, Coolman.  
  
Glad I got such an avid fan. Who likes music rhyming-like speech. My superiors won't let me reveal him just yet so.... keep rhyming, you might have to for a while.  
  
And that is that. Now we're out of time so Until next time- what? What do you mean I gotta write more than this? Can't I do it tomorrow or something? Awww, man...... ah well, I guess I could any....way.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz-Pow! Wha-who-what-where?!?!? Oh, guess I dozed. My producers just won't let me off....  
  
Anyway, today, I shall tell you as much as I know about Homeschool Winner. (yawn!)  
  
____________________________________________________________  
  
Well he's basically a Homestar clone, except he's his complete opposite, no not really, Augh! No one knows his personality, and he didn't enslave millions of ungraits to zombify Freetown USA! Well everybody but, Me, StrongMad, The Cheat, dumbface, Bubs, Coach Z, Pom Pom, and Homsar. (It was StrongSad's fault he was there.) And..... um you heard nothing! Go away! AUGH!!!..................................................................... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .................................................................'.......... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .........8.................................................................. ..7......................................................................... ............................................................................ .............are they still here? Crap!  
  
Look guys, I'm really tired and- what?! That's my paycheck! No not the shredder! Fine! Fine, I'll continue....  
  
Yeah, okay, he looks like Homestar, 'cept he's not. There! The end, see you later!  
  
Sorry, about that, I do not want to continu- (is that continue? Don't write the cards in cursive anymore!) continue, but I will anyway for my (devoted?) fans.  
  
Anyway, he has an overbite, 'stead of Homestar's underbite.  
  
He wears a blue shirt with a word balloon, and his shoes are blue. He has a narrow head, with eyes facing another direction, Homestar's faces the other way. And he's really tall, and no I did not lock him in my basement. Ten years ago. Today. Shhhhh, don't mention anything to anybody. Yet. Or ever. Or mabye never. Or actually. We didn't have this conversation, you never heard this. The entry is over. You never read it. It didn't begin. It ended before it begun....................................................................... ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ 4........................................................................... .......................................................fhqwhgads! Now you don't remember anything!  
  
Well that's all the time we have until next time, keep reading, and I'll keep writing. Although I'll have no idea who's reading, unless they review. See ya! 


	6. Welcome to the first Makefunofemailiganz...

Disclaimer: I do not own Domino's Pizza nor do I own, any of the people, you see here. Also if you see a product that any of your friends or you yourself, own, then it is more than likely a coinsidence. Thank you and enjoy.  
  
Hey world of paper... and ink.... it's me Strong Bad!  
  
Yes, it is 1:00 am, so what?! 10 cups of coffee can really energize ya!  
  
So, I shall atempt to entertain you even though I'm pretty much a zombie.  
  
But an awake zombie! Yeah, I'll write until Boo! I so had you didn't I? Ha ha ha ha ha! Well, anyway now I sall introduce the secret of the entry after a multiple of 5.  
  
After every 5 entrys we have a make fun of stupid emails time so here is that...  
  
dEAR sTRONG bAD,  
  
mY WONDERING IS SPOOT. aRE YOUS WONDERING SPOOT?  
  
wHAT ABOUT YOUS NEW WONDERING? mE THINK YOU TALK GRT.  
  
aBLET sOMERERT,  
nEW hAMPSHIRE  
  
aLL i THINK ABOUT THIS EMAIL IS THAT IT WAS WRITTEN BY A FOREIGN PERSON, OR ILLITERATE PERSON, OR SOMEBODY... bUT, HERE'S THE NEXT ONE..  
  
Dear director of Dominos Pizza,  
  
I regret to inform you that I am not content with your pizza. Although apples taste like gravy to me, I think that I should impose my opinion on other people. Good day.  
  
From a disatisfied costumer,  
Derk Denson  
Wyoming.  
  
If you think that one was wierd look at this one......  
  
Dear Strong Bad,  
  
Is purple a fruit? Please clear this up with me.  
  
From,  
Meesa Mastso  
  
Actually Meesa, meesa think that purple is a fruit if it is round and sweet. Next...  
  
Dear Strong Bad,  
  
Sbdghcofgnvflgch? Jfghcwksejn, hfh3nrilf (fhbkggrk).  
  
Fhqwhgadsk3jric2b3jrgcbow3ruy? Serlfkchslfkgjh.  
  
Sincerely yours,  
  
Gefkghvwrlgk Frrgjrfl  
Mjjtsu Alpha quadrent Galaxy 009.  
  
Well, Gefkghvwrlgk.... Look can I just call you Gefkghv? (Gefk- give) Look Gefkghv, hfbvlsdvfblsd, kjhvwlkejfvhwl, and most importantly, vhfhhhjshfdaaaarejfb. And here's the next one........  
  
Dear guy with a red mask,  
  
I am a big fan of yours, and have seen all of your emails, except for about, 76 of them. Yeah, so I was wondering, who is the little yellow guy? Whoever he is, he's way funnier than you. I mean your great and all, but you'll always be second to him.  
  
From, D.F.  
  
Well D, if The Cheat is so high and mighty, why don't you see him writing a journal. I mean at least I can speak english, and walk, and... um... your stupid, anyway, here's another one....  
  
Dear Mr. Bad,  
  
You have not paid your electric bill in over three months. By the time you finish reading this, your computer will turn off. Thank you, and good day.  
  
Freetown Electric Co.  
  
Yeah, I paid that 3 months earlier, I told them the check was in the mail....  
  
You head is red!  
  
K.J.  
  
It is?! Oh, my- I never knew! I've only looked in the mirror-what, five thousand times?! Seriously though you get a Master Of Clearly Obvious Statements award!....  
  
I have a duck, and you are a [comment ommited].  
  
F.Y  
  
This is the kind of thing that saddens me nowadays, luckily, the missle I launched into his house only mortally wounded him, so he learns his lesson you see....  
  
I.  
  
F.G  
  
You!  
  
S.B  
  
And that concludes our, "every one after 5 entrys, email makefunofemailiganza!".....  
  
Back to the opinionated facts about people. Today will be Bubs.  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
Bubs... is well a mechanic person, well, he's..... let me start again...  
  
Bubs owns a concession stand down near the stick. (Yes, a stick coming out of the ground, it's fun to hang out there.)  
  
He owns a pretty straight business, about as straight as a crooked line can be. He occaisionally hires me and Strong Mad, and sometimes The Cheat, to threaten costumers who do not pay- I mean who um.... yeah, anyway, we also occaisionally shakedown his stand and stuff, yeah the motto of the stand goes as follows: If it's edible, if it's almost legal, we more than likely have it....  
  
Yeah, we get a lot of our stuff there, and all of the email addresses I get I give to him for a quarter each. Yeah.... these are the days......zzzzzzzzzzzzz Wha-who?! Oh, I dozed for a second there, anyway *yawn* Bubs helps us with our schemes, for a price, and even does stuff with us, pretty great guy. Anyway, he subscribes to "Motor Trend" magazine, and even owns this souped up Gremlin. He's basically Bubs. He talks pretty fast, and has a slightly african-american accent.  
  
Great guy Bubs, great guy.  
  
Oh, this one time, me, Strong Mad, The Cheat, and Bubs were going to the hardware store to make something, like I'd tell you, and we saw Homestar there. Naturally, we dropped what we were doing and quietly followed him all over the store, picking up blunt objects along the way.  
  
Then he looked all frustrated, and went to the cash register to ask this guy if they had this thing, and he looked at Homestar weirdly and asked why he was looking in the hardware store for that, and Homestar's like "But the hardware store has evewything." and the register guy's like, "We don't have Movo's here,(A Movo is a small googly eyed siberian ashtray with marshmellow action.  
  
Needless to say, they didn't have them. After he left the store we jumped him, and split his forty four ways. Great day that.  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
Okay, he has like, gray pants, a green cumberbuzzle like thing, and a orange shirt, his head is spheroid, and he has one huge eyes, with a huge pupil, and the other is a small dot. And his smile takes up half his face. That's pretty much his looks.  
  
Oh, and next entry is a "Super 7 entry" where I tell you seven seperate storys along with the normal entry. So now it's every entry after a mulitple of 5, is a special, and every entry with a 7 on it has 7 extra storys. So see you people....later......zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. 


	7. The first Super7 occurs, also we discuss...

Disclaimer: I in no way own any of the towns and people on here, I also do not own Never ending story. Nor do I share any of these views on Fortune tellers and hippies, they are all nice hard working people, so now that I got all that out of the way, onto the Super7!  
  
Hey, ho, let's go, hey, ho, Super7!  
  
Hello fans and not so fans, today is the "Super 7 Entry"! Where we talk about 7 completely unrelated storys to the character at hand.  
  
Well, um, oh yeah! I'm on vacation! These storys have a theme and this is it, the 7 storys of my vacation!  
  
Let's begin!..............................  
  
Hey guys, I'm currently in, Hot Place, Texas! Where everyone's dreams come true! If your dream is to be hot, and stay hot, anyway.  
  
Well there's not to much here, a little resturaunt down by the rock, the rock: the big hangout of Hot Place, and there's this little building way out of the way that has actual entertaiment, yeah, me and some guys hung out there at The House. It was pretty awsome, we would like, sit on this stool, and talk about the idiotic tourists, who come to see The Rock, and how they're wasting there money, on souvineers, like mugs, and little T- shirts, and even those little glasses that are so hard to find. Well that's it for this place Write ya later!  
  
Oh, and I'll never forget this place.....  
  
Hey guys, I'm writing from Crowdedville, Nevada, where absoulutly EVERYTHING happens! Yeah, this place is great, lots of gambling places, and convention places, and, oh, wait-a-minute! StrongSad!? What the crap are you doing here?!  
  
"Oh, I'm just attending the Edger Allen Poe convention."  
  
"The Edger- what the- who the- fhqwhgads- ah, that's the stupidist thing I have ever heard! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ha..........."  
  
Oh yeah, and when he got to his hotel, The Leeko Leeko, he parked like all the way at the top of the parking garage, and walked all the way to the lobby, and they told him that his hotel room was like in another building, like 18 miles away, and he drove to the place, which looked really new, but when he got inside it was like, 30, mabye 90 years old, and his room was on the 3rd floor, and he like went up there and it wasn't his room, so he called the lobby, and they like, took hours to get to the room, and then they gave him another room, and he went in there, and then the light went out, and... oh, man you just had to be there! Man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oooooh, maaaan! Oh....manohmanohmanohmanohmanohman, oooooooohhhhhhhh, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! Thank you and good night!  
  
And then this one..........  
  
Welcome to.... nowhere! I am currently stuck in a never-ending series of bus transfers! I like took off in Fergus Town, transfered to Gerfty, went half way across the country to Waderton, and currently headed to Zzzyxzz, all the while listening to, crappy songs like, "I freakin hate Sibbie" and "And I'll never ever ever ever ever write a song about the Sibbie, about the Sibbie.",  
  
Needless to say it is a really boring trip, luckily StrongSad nor any other annoying people are here, I can be thankful for tha- wait-a- Homestar?! Oh, MAN!! What the crap are you doing here!  
  
"I'm on my way to the Bronco Trolly convention in New Brunsingtonworth!"  
  
"Wait, Homestar, who told you about this "convention"?"  
  
"Oh, The Cheat, and Bubs, why?"  
  
"Homestar, don't you see what's going on here?"  
  
"Absoulutly!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"The convention is really my suprise birthday party! Those guys are awsome!"  
  
"So awsome that they booked you on a never ending series of bus transfers?"  
  
"Yep- wait... never-ending?"  
  
"Now he gets it!"  
  
"You mean they show "The Never-Ending Story" on this bus!"  
  
"What?! No man it's tha- wait, I just realized that I'm reasoning with an idiot."  
  
"It's true."  
  
Well guys, that conversation went on for a good forty, mabye fifty minutes, well see you guys later, my bus is transfering.  
  
Aw man, I'll never forget that day, and night, and the next five days, man, well here's number four...  
  
Hey Guys! What's going down? Well here I am writing from "The Bubble", and man, I highly recommend this place to anyone, even dumbfaces. I mean they have like cold ones in every refrigerator, highways filled with fast and showy cars, stores stocked with useful items, and even a monument to myself, The Bubble, it's an abstract work with my face on it. So basically, if you want to go to a place that's almost as good as Strongbadia, then come to "The Bubble".  
  
And here...........  
  
Hey, um I have no clue where I am. I took a few buses, stoped at a few gas stations, and I've wound up- oh, wait here's a sign. "Wecome tooo dee pace of fotune tewwing.".  
  
Well the english is better than some of the emails I have received recently,  
  
EX,  
  
Da Scron Gerd,  
  
I am a porfen oo wans ta no abot th yurlow ting in youw besmant. Serd He?  
  
Crend a la crend? Wit mi bak.  
  
Herdtfyhgh.  
  
Aska.  
  
Yeah, those emails are somethin' else, well, anyway, I just had my fortune read, and the said I would die very soon if I did not pay them 500 smackers. Well fearing my life, I did so. Then they disappeared and I never saw them again. Screwed up. Well see ya next destination.  
  
Fhqwhgads.........  
  
Welcome to, um guys? I can't tell you where I am until I believe it myself, so you'll just have to hang in ther- wait.... a monument of a white atari style duck, and a nation anthem with the song: "Come on Fhqwhgads"? I'm... in..... Fhqwhgads?! What the crap?! How did I- who- what- how- aw, man I am so confused, but luckily, their coffee is exquisite so no complaints here, so until next destination, goodbye!  
  
And last, but definently not least.........  
  
Ahhhh..... It's nice to be among the people who matter, Tire, Sign, The Cheat, StrongMad..... ahhhhhh...... Strongbadia! I'm in Strongbadia by complete mistake! How? Well my crazy bus transfers finally took me here so yeah. But I couldn't be happier. SometimesI wonder why I ever leave this place, if it's for the emails or other things, then I remember that I'm in an open lot with mud and cold air. So I go back into my house and gaze at the sunset above Strongbadia. Then I leave at least two dozen prank calls on Marzipans answering machine. Yeah life couldn't be better.  
  
So concludes the first "Super 7 Entry" I hope you have enjoyed it and now our feature presenta- I mean character.  
  
Today we shall talk about.....Marzipan!  
  
Yeah, Marzipa is one screwed up person, she hates meat, Decemberween, violence, and just about all forms of humor, but above all myself. Basically, she's a hippie, a huge, hardcore, hippie. You all know what a hippie is right? A flowery pacifist-like person, who doesn't really help anything, you know, they boycott all enjoyable activites, they sing random songs about peace and love, you know, a hippie.  
  
So basically that is Marzipan, a caring, happy, nieve little hippie. Now how she looks.  
  
Well I can't really get close enough to elaborate on this, on account of the fact she hates me, but to my knowledge, she has a broomstick-like silouette, a baseball bat shaped head, and a purple dress, with little circles and ribbons, oh, and she has blonde hair, with a ponytail in it. And she has this little guitar that she sings random things on. So that's Marzipan, the person who loves to hate me, and hates to love me. The feelings are pretty mutual, except she's the only girl in all of Freetown, so we all kinda like her, well not the only girl, there's Coach Y, a girl coach from our middle school days that Coach Z has in his baseme- oops! I've already said to much gottagobye! 


	8. Marchpane and PomPom, Homsar steals the ...

Doo doo-doo, doo doo dee doo padie dooooooo! Padie doooooooooooo!  
  
Hey guys, man that high E is hard to get at with my voice.  
  
Anyhow we've had a fun couple of updates, and now people are writing me letters, that are still misspelled, sheesh you people and your needless abuse of the english language.  
  
Well tanyway, and yes, that's tanyway, I spelled it that way for a fairly good reason.  
  
Well tanyway, I have recieved enormous amounts of email, and letters, requesting that I talk about .........  
  
Pom-Pom!, well sorry guys, Pom's still not up to a description yet, legal stuff, but anyway, I have randomly selected a person, or am going to select.  
  
Let's see here, and the lucky recipient is.... Marchpane.......  
  
Who the crap is Marchpane? Is this some kind of misspelling of mabye Marzipan? Or someone?  
  
Oh, I bet it's that athelete girl who Homeschool was trying to hit on in our high school reuinion photo, you know, the one used in Dancing Bubs?  
  
Forget it, anyhow, I can't really talk about person very much, I had one too many cold ones and was reeling about, so I really have no clue about, oh....um..... fine! Yes, I know her, and also yes, I remember her! Homestar's fifth cousin thrice removed. She's really wierd looking, and as far as I know, nobody has seen her or Homeschool, in over three years. So there! Okay then! I never liked her! I don't care what you say!  
  
As a matter of fact no entry this time! You used up all your luck buddy! Bye bye!........................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ ............................................................................ .........................................................................  
  
Hello? Hey, ya'll I'm Homsar! And this is Song from the Sixties radio hour, todaaay we'll talk about the original ladies mayan. Meeeeeee.  
  
HSar: Tell me Humstar! What do you think about breakfast cereal?  
  
Hs: Um, isn't this interview supossed to be about you?  
  
HSar: Me toooo.  
  
Hs: Well, whatever, I'm outta here.  
  
HSar: Now we move on to bubbly guy!  
  
Pom: BUBBLE! T: GET OF OF MY LAWN!  
  
HSar: I too dream of pipes  
  
Marzi: Homsar, in an interview your supposed to talk about a certain topic.  
  
HSar: I ran the English channel in fourty days.  
  
Marzi: Yeah, um you can't use my camera anymore.  
  
HSar: My legs are like spindily octopusees.  
  
Marzi:................  
  
HSar: Hey StrongBayud! What are your opinian on grebles grayahm?  
  
Sb: Get a way from me you stupid wierdo. I'm in a bad mood-Is that a freakin video camera?!?!?!  
  
HSar: Are monkeys blue?  
  
Sb: Yaargh!  
  
Kzt! *static*  
  
Hey everybody, sorry I blew up at you guys like that, anyway today we'll talk about.. Pom-Pom! Even though I might get in a whole lot of trouble.  
  
Pom-Pom is a nice guy. I mean a really nice guy.  
  
He's the second most popular guy in all of Freetown. Originating from The Isle of Pom...  
  
Pom-Pom, wheighs in at a whopping 4 pounds, and is 6 1/2 feet high. He has a dog named Trivia Time, and has lots of girls. Slightly less than me. And the Isle of Pom looks like a pill.  
  
His phisique, is well rotund, completely rotund, with a yellow shirt, and a huge orange stripe running through it, his legs and arms are like cones, and his head is like an oval with oval eyes. He speakes with bubbly sounds.  
  
Well that's it, I am through. Until next time... get a StongBad card! For use in Strongbadia! 


End file.
